You can call him Jay, or you can call him James or you can call him... Dante83. Our featured capper this month comes from Manhattan, NY and is what you'd call a Born Again Capper. He was into it then got away from it during college. Ergo, we had to send someone who was "emotionally involved" to his house for some painful and sweaty persuasion and now he's back in the fold. He's an artist (please note the link at the very bottom to his adorable website) as well as a capper extraordinaire and an all-around fine human being. I hope you have as much fun reading these 21 captions from Dante83 as I had collecting them.

The Artist Currently Known as Dante83.




Dante83:
Hey John, guess what? You're contractually obligated to finish this movie AND make two sequels.


Dante83:
Man, they said they were going to make this book into a movie, but...


Dante83:
His Bugs Bunny tap dance routine makes her momentarily forget about the spawn of the dark lord growing inside her...


Dante83:
"Hmmm, let's see 'What to Expect When You're Expecting the Antichrist.' Oh, Satan honey, is that you? I made quiche for dinner!"


Dante83:
Uh oh, I think Rosemary's got an idea! A big one, too.


Dante83:
This Christmas every kid will want a "Tickle Me Satan."


Dante83:
Aw, her friend is overcome with mild concern.


Dante83:
She's reading "Women Who Don't Eat Too Much and the Incarnations of Evil Who Love Them."


Dante83:
Satan, take me awaaaaayyyy....


Dante83:
"Honey, I think that Flintstone guy might have ripped us off...


Dante83:
You know I woke up this morning and thought 'Gee, if only someone would make the wheel seem confusing and dangerous."


Dante83:
Yep, stuffed into a rotten gourde and pulled around by mice. There's every girl's fantasy...


Dante83:
"Sigh. If only I could be lost in space with a stupid robot and a creepy pedophile."


Dante83:
This is what happens when you hire a house painter with A.D.D.


Dante83:
Oh, they're getting Kathy Bates onto the Titanic.


Dante83:
"Ok ok ok, everyone stop. We have to ask ourselves 'What would Matlock do?'"


Dante83:
"...I know this may come as a shock to you, but I've been having a torrid love affair with Tic-Tacs.' I really don't know why I'm writing this while you are standing here in front of me..."


Dante83:
Tonight Only! David Bowie and Tinkerbell!


Dante83:
Sessions Presents: Songs for Lonely Cat-Ladies!
TOM JONES! 'What's new Pussy Cat- whoa-whoa-oh-oh..."
HARRY CHAPIN! "Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon..."
AND MANY MORE!


Dante83:
So help me, if those ventriloquist dummy heads aren't the best ever it's on your conscience for picking this lame-ass tree.


Dante83:
"Yes, that's real interesting honey. Tell me more about how you improved your golf game while I singe the flesh off my hand on our new stove.”

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