CT! and Inventing Situations, September 2003.




Zwiel17:
"No, I'm going as Batman, you'll have to go as Robin!"


AdExtremum729:
"And by following our exercise program, you too can have transparent skin and eight dinner rolls in just three weeks!"


TVs_Neal:
And now back to Jim Henson's Buddy Hackett Babies.


Hinermad:
Once teenage boys realized they could pat down female passengers and snoop through their clothing, there was an avalanche of applications at the Transportation Safety Administration.


JurassicPork:
...and now back to TRADING SPACES....


Hinermad:
.oO I wonder what I'd look like if I was pregnant. Probably pretty much like I do now. Oo.


terryodude:
while June is away, Ward pulls out a smut book to check out some real beaver.


JurassicPork:
"But don't go by me. My wife was so young when I married her that she and our kid go to the same pediatrician."


JurassicPork:
A young John John makes his first landing, in a moment that makes his Uncle Ted proud.

da_upstart:
During the rainy season, the Cessna would oftentimes converge at watering holes and perform mating rituals.


JurassicPork:
"By the way, your daughter's mattress has a loose spring and makes a lot of noise, too. Just thought you should know."


Hinermad:
“If only I could harness the power of Fritos AND cheese!"


JurassicPork:
The caption at the base of Layfayette's statue reads, "I wave my private parts at you!"

Hinermad:
Of all the "leading economic indicators" considered by the Federal Reserve Board, the most accurate gauge of American economy is George Washington's erection.


terryodude:
You just won the washing machine where Carol Merril's Grand mother is now standing.


JurassicPork:
In the current phase of the Industrial Revolution, men can now subjugate their wives with less guilt than ever!


Dante83:
"Yeah she says she's 'Reubenesque' but we all know Rubens didn't paint women scarfing down boxes of Twinkies... OH HI DEBBIE!"

JurassicPork:
"Well, of course you never swallow before marriage. That's why we have purses, ladies."


Hinermad:
The mysterious mummy found in the equally mysterious pyramid just outside Glasgow, Scotland was finally identified as King Tartan-Common. (webmaster’s note: The following capper has already been dealt with for the execrable pun above and is currently duct-taped from head to foot, lying by the side of a highway near Waltham, Massachusetts where his exposed genitals are being licked by stray cats. We now resume our capping.)


JurassicPork:
On this week's THIS OLD HOUSE, special guest Sylvia Plath installs gas pipe lines.


Hinermad:
I heard a noise behind me, so I turned to look. There she stood, with a pair of 44s and a gun...


JurassicPork:
Despite his current social stature, Prince Charles was mercilessly teased by the rugby team about his hideousness in high school.


Unreality:
“The Conjoined Mackenzie Quadruplets: Attorneys at Law"


JurassicPork:
Yeah, they learned from the Titanic. Four dinghies ought to be plenty...

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