Inventing Situations, September, 2003.




Beckett:
" Man, I'm soaked!"


JurassicPork:
In entertainment news, one of the famed Von Trapp singers, after twirling around, got dizzy and fell to her death off this mountain today. Christopher Plummer has been called in for questioning.


JurassicPork:
Charlotte's Web... Of Deceit!


JurassicPork:
Alright, which one of you assholes did a charcoal rubbing of my crotch?


Dante83:
Hey, Steve, the documentary about your right arm is next week. Wanna clear the shot, maybe?


JurassicPork:
"Damn. According to this, I'm pregnant!"


JurassicPork:
Until the blessed invention of the cubicle, office workers did their best to skeeve their fellow drones.


wd40:
RCA Defeated just didn't sound right.


Hinermad:
No, no, no. It just doesn't have the right ring. How about we call it the Federal Reserve Board instead?


JurassicPork:
"John Ritter, Johnny Cash, Gregory Peck, Katherine Hepburn, Buddy Hackett, Warren Zevon, Robert Palmer, Bob Hope... Jesus, we really picked a helluva Dead Pool this year, didn't we?"


Hinermad:
If information is the currency of the 21st Century, then the Web is the world's biggest counterfeiting ring!


JurassicPork:
...which had no acknowledgement page...


cambria36:
...allowing G. W. Bush to become President.


JurassicPork:
Storyboards for Stephen Spielberg's TORGO BABIES...


WaffleKing:
Subarticle 17: "I, the undersigned am a big weinie." Damn, I knew I should have read this before I signed.


JurassicPork:
Nothing warms your tummy on a cold winter day like Campbell's Truffle Soup. /~/Mm mm good./~/


JurassicPork:
How To Wish You Were Never Born and Improbably Wish All Your Troubles Away.


UnReality:
Only if he cuts Herb in on the action.


JurassicPork:
"Hold out through Spring Training." "No, don't listen to him. Sign the contract and defer your salary."


JurassicPork:
Suddenly, Spot remembered every strip of bacon he'd accepted from his master...


gleeb:
The young G. Gordon Liddy holds his hand *near* the flame. Later, he had his eyes checked.

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