Inventing Situations, September, 2003.




Torgone:
Later, they learned not to put the septic system on the top floor . . .


JurassicPork:
"PLEASE REOPEN THE AUTO PLANTS!! WE'RE DYING UP HERE! Thank you."


gleeb:
“No, don't trouble yourself, I'LL carry it...”


Cambria36:
“It says, ‘Dear Mrs. Sanders, Jimmy was an asshole again today. Signed, Ms. Johnson (teacher)’".


gleeb:
“Sorry, but your fingerpainting has become too sloppy. I'm bringing in Timmy to replace you...”


UnReality:
Not-At-All-Well Man's Curve.


JurassicPork:
Dr. Phil finally wised up and fell back on his music degree but then was eaten by Hannibal Lecter.


gleeb:
Why didn't I make it 5? I'm drowning in pennies here!

JurassicPork:
After being burnt once before, Howie Long was about to teach this child a very painful lesson about additional hidden charges.


Cambria36:
Curly Howard, though dead, belongs to the Teamsters Union.


JurassicPork:
HOW TO STOP THE LITTLE WETBACKS AT THE RIO GRANDE AND THEN SEND ALL OUR JOBS TO THEM THROUGH FREE TRADE AGREEMENTS.


Mercutio_Jones:
“How the hell do I spell THAT? Don't you people have any frikken VOWELS in your language!?!?!?”


JurassicPork:
"Hi, I'm Pablo Picasso. Where did you want me to paint that mural?"


gleeb:
On his deathbed, Dr. Teller described his dream of a waffle-based nuclear defense.


JurassicPork:
.oO Heh heh heh. A little ice, some sugar, and the principal will never know the difference. Oo.


gleeb:
"Gee, Brad, when you said you were into water sports..."


gleeb:
"Bill Cullen followed me home! Can we keep him?"


JurassicPork:
Look, hun, if you can swallow an oyster, you can swallow jism. C'mon, everyone, help her. Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp...


Viagra:
"Jism like an oyster?! No, it’s more like slimy mayo doused in salt. How do I know? You try being locked up in a Korean prison camp for 2 years!"

JurassicPork:
"Honey, did Jackson Pollock upholster our furniture?"

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