Inventing Situations, September 19, 2003.




Beckett:
"Dr. Rubic was stymied by the Rubic's Tube until one day as he was emptying the ice maker."


gleeb:
He led them in a rousing chorus of "Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight."

JurassicPork:
Previously, using Firestones, he reached speeds of three and had a blowout in the cornfield .


gleeb:
You have the right to a last cigarette, and to have your suit pressed...

JurassicPork:
"So, if you want to see Mamie again, Mr. President, you'll make a deposit to Ironrite's Swiss account..."


gleeb:
With Ironrite, you have more time to ponder the meaning of existense, or just watch "Jerry Springer."

jildo:
Hmmm...I wonder what semen tastes like...


JurassicPork:
Next on Jerry Springer: Money and the corporate executives who love it.


Dante83:
Larry didn't allow his being shot in the chest to keep him from his dimly lit interview.


Dante83:
*cue Bob Newhart theme*


JurassicPork:
Chico Marx and Jimmy Durante shouldn't've pissed off that witch doctor.


Dante83:
"Oh my God, look out there, it's horrible!" "What is it, a monster on the wing?" "No, New Jersey!"


JurassicPork:
"Oops, sorry, Dad."


gleeb:
"Well, Bertolucci's visuals are always stunning, but I think....oh, excuse me, MOOOOO....anyway, as I was saying.."


JurassicPork:
Young Gary Larson was then hit with a life-changing inspiration...


JurassicPork:
.oO Oh my. I'm afraid I'll have to kill Remo Williams, after all. Oo.


Scypha:
"What's that, Harvey? You say I could be famous for wishing I was never born?"


JurassicPork:
"Well, you ain't Ned Beatty, but ya'll do."


wd40:
A Professional Magician knows how to maintain his composure with all of that rabbit urine running down his neck.


JurassicPork:
.oO I know what those two lovebirds need to break the ice. A Coke and a smile... Oo.


Dante83:
Now, I'm planning to run down a gypsy's daughter so that he'll curse me and I'll be thin.

JurassicPork:
"Our next letter is from Mike Krupchick in Spokane, Washington. Mike asks, When was the last time you took a shit, Mr. Hoover? Well, Mikey, that's a good question..."

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